Monday, 3 December 2012

My Experience of Wearing "Lolita" to a Wedding

I hope everybody had a good International Lolita Day on Saturday! I intended to write today's post a lot sooner, but I have only just found the opportunity to fit it in.

Back in October I was having a bit of a dilemma. My husband James and I had been invited to a wedding and I had absolutely nothing to wear. I had set a little money aside but... I ended up buying AatP's Midsummer's Night Dream instead (there was no way I was going to pass this dress up AGAIN). The trouble is, I had been so focused on my lolita wardrobe that the rest of my wardrobe was severely lacking as a result. I had a few non-lolita dresses and some smart trousers, but none of them looked right for a wedding. I absolutely agonised over what to wear but in the end, I decided I would wear a lolita dress. I did feel incredibly guilty, as I have always felt that it would be a bad idea to wear lolita to a wedding. Do I dare risk upsetting the bride? I was scared I was being selfish but I really couldn't think of anything else to wear.

So I ended up wearing the very dress that had eaten up my wedding outfit fund! To make it "Wedding Friendly" I deliberately didn't put together a typically lolita outfit. I was quite lucky because the couple in question are what you would call stereotypical western style goths. I knew that a lot of their gothic wearing friends would be attending and so I thought the best route would be to wear black. I think that using black really toned down the dress. By thinking about what the other guests would be wearing, I was able to "blend in" a bit better. I wore a very deflated Bodyline petticoat as the dress looked a bit strange on me without any poof, but it didn't flare outwards too much. I didn't use any hair accessories either. Overall, my outfit was very paired-down and basic, but at the same time it looked smart enough for a wedding.

And it worked. Nobody at the wedding felt that I was out of place and I didn't attract much attention at all. Sure, I was a bit more covered up in comparison to the other girls in their shorter dresses, but that aside there was not much difference. I started to relax a lot more. The bride looked stunning and she was the most beautiful girl in the room.

But despite my positive experience, this is not something I think I would do again. I think that just because this time the bride was understanding, it doesn't mean that every wedding would be the same. A lot of it does depend on the couple. I know nobody likes a "Bridezilla" but after being in that position I can understand the amount of time, money and effort that goes in to weddings. You have an idea in your head of how you want everything to be. As frustrating as it may be sometimes, I believe you should respect the wishes of the couple. If they outright tell you that you can not wear lolita to their wedding, then as far as I am concerned, that is game over.

If I were to give advice to anybody who did want to wear lolita to a wedding, it would to keep things simple. I would choose solid coloured pieces over prints and if I did go for a print, I think classic would go down better. I would keep petticoats to a minimum as it not only grabs attention, but there is also a risk of it mimicking the shape of the bride's dress. I would keep the AP plastic jewellery at home and go for more traditional looking accessories. If in doubt, show somebody what you intend to wear and get their opinion.


  1. This is a very interesting post! You often see people ask about just this topic and people tend to be a little befuddled about how to respond to it, so it's nice to hear a first hand experience with it!

    1. Thank you. I am so relieved everything worked out well in the end!


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