My Experience of Wearing "Lolita" to a Wedding

I hope everybody had a good International Lolita Day on Saturday! I intended to write today's post a lot sooner, but I have only just found the opportunity to fit it in.

Back in October I was having a bit of a dilemma. My husband James and I had been invited to a wedding and I had absolutely nothing to wear. I had set a little money aside but... I ended up buying AatP's Midsummer's Night Dream instead (there was no way I was going to pass this dress up AGAIN). The trouble is, I had been so focused on my lolita wardrobe that the rest of my wardrobe was severely lacking as a result. I had a few non-lolita dresses and some smart trousers, but none of them looked right for a wedding. I absolutely agonised over what to wear but in the end, I decided I would wear a lolita dress. I did feel incredibly guilty, as I have always felt that it would be a bad idea to wear lolita to a wedding. Do I dare risk upsetting the bride? I was scared I was being selfish but I really couldn't think of anything else to wear.

So I ended up wearing the very dress that had eaten up my wedding outfit fund! To make it "Wedding Friendly" I deliberately didn't put together a typically lolita outfit. I was quite lucky because the couple in question are what you would call stereotypical western style goths. I knew that a lot of their gothic wearing friends would be attending and so I thought the best route would be to wear black. I think that using black really toned down the dress. By thinking about what the other guests would be wearing, I was able to "blend in" a bit better. I wore a very deflated Bodyline petticoat as the dress looked a bit strange on me without any poof, but it didn't flare outwards too much. I didn't use any hair accessories either. Overall, my outfit was very paired-down and basic, but at the same time it looked smart enough for a wedding.

And it worked. Nobody at the wedding felt that I was out of place and I didn't attract much attention at all. Sure, I was a bit more covered up in comparison to the other girls in their shorter dresses, but that aside there was not much difference. I started to relax a lot more. The bride looked stunning and she was the most beautiful girl in the room.

But despite my positive experience, this is not something I think I would do again. I think that just because this time the bride was understanding, it doesn't mean that every wedding would be the same. A lot of it does depend on the couple. I know nobody likes a "Bridezilla" but after being in that position I can understand the amount of time, money and effort that goes in to weddings. You have an idea in your head of how you want everything to be. As frustrating as it may be sometimes, I believe you should respect the wishes of the couple. If they outright tell you that you can not wear lolita to their wedding, then as far as I am concerned, that is game over.

If I were to give advice to anybody who did want to wear lolita to a wedding, it would to keep things simple. I would choose solid coloured pieces over prints and if I did go for a print, I think classic would go down better. I would keep petticoats to a minimum as it not only grabs attention, but there is also a risk of it mimicking the shape of the bride's dress. I would keep the AP plastic jewellery at home and go for more traditional looking accessories. If in doubt, show somebody what you intend to wear and get their opinion.

Men friendly house decorating

August 2008 will always be remembered as a momentous time of my life. I was 20, planning my wedding and after a few years of research, I was starting to think about making the jump between just admiring lolita to actually wearing it. But by far, the biggest event of that Summer was leaving home. Feeling a mixture of excitement and panic, I moved out of my mother's house and moved in with my fiance (now my husband!).

Although I had my own bedroom at my mum's house, I always felt that I never properly 'owned' that room. I chose the colour on the walls but usually, I had to ask permission to do anything and my mum did not always agree to my demands (I used to have these hideous floral curtains. My mum has no taste!). So all of a sudden, I had this entire house that I could decorate however I wanted.

If I had my own way and money was no issue, my house would probably look like the inside of an Angelic Pretty store.

I have never been overly keen on having lots of pink but I wanted loads of lace, flowers and it probably would have looked like this picture!

Back in the present, and somebody casually asks me online how James copes with "all that frilly stuff" I am in to. They go to say "But Luna, surely your lolita stuff takes over the entire house! Do you let James decide on your house decorating at all?". So I looked around my living room. Sure, a lot of my stuff was stuffed on the shelves but amongst my duck plushies and gothic lolita bibles, I could also see James' dragon lamp, his video games and the LARP dagger a friend gave him for his birthday.

You know what? I don't think James has ever argued with me about the decorating because we have always talked every decision through together. I don't have super kawaii decorations that make Angelic Pretty look bland but I still have my little girly bits here and there. The reason our living arrangement works, is because we are happy to compromise.

The walls- Most of the walls in our house have been kept fairly natural, which were the colours that were there when we moved in. We used to have this hideous pale yellow in the bedroom so we decided we would paint this room. In the end, we picked a pale lilac colour. Although lilac can look sugary and cute, James was happy with the colour. The only colour James refused to get was pink. Pink is a colour usually associated with girls and we thought purple was a bit more unisex. To help break up the delicate lilac, we also painted one wall a deep dark berry colour. The berry wall is strong and bold and therefore, does not look too feminine. We are both very happy with how the room looks.

Personal space- I think the most important thing is that we have our own little personal spaces. I consider my personal space to be my little corner by the sofa. I have my Kera magazines, notebooks, and personal bits right beside me within easy reach. It is crucial to have an area where you are comfortable and can relax and be yourself. I start feeling insecure when people sit on my spot on the sofa! Although we are a couple, we are also separate people and it is vital to respect this.

Storage- We have a very small place so space is always limited. We have attempted to utilise the space as best as we possibly can and use storage which saves space. I think part of the reason that James copes with my lolita, is because it is stored away so he is not tripping over my head bows in our house.

A few little pieces- Instead of decorating the place to look all princessy, I have a few smaller bits. So instead of completely covering the place with decoration, I have chosen a few choice bits. I chose all the fruit themed equipment in the kitchen because I love strawberries! It helps to liven up the kitchen but it does not look OTT at all.

Common interests- Instead of using lolita as a theme, we used our common interests to decorate. Both James and I love Japan so we got some Japanese themed art work for the living room!

Shopping- We always go shopping together so we can see each other's purchases. Every decision is shared, we assembled the furniture together and we decide together on the best way to divide the budget.

Our house may not look how I originally intended it to, but I still feel at home here. In fact, I am proud because the way our house looks shows that James and I have worked together and have not been selfish. In actual fact, our house probably looks better this way because I don't have to spend ages dusting thousands of ornaments and trinkets. Our house is a lot more practical and if we sell this place, it will sell better because it will appeal to a wider range of people.

If you want to move in with somebody who is not in to lolita, then meet each other halfway. You don't have to ditch the things you love. Everybody has their passions. One word- COMPROMISE!!!!